Unattainable

«Lately, I'm seeing an old castle while sleeping, - it seems like the note was written in a hurry, - do you know what that means»?

«Tonight I saw it again. Did I tell you? Of course I didn't, but you have to read it, you could be interested. There is something in it that excites you, isn’t there?

I walked down the wide road, past the sunny meadows; everything was good but I felt a little anxious, as if there was something I  needed and I really didn't know what it was. The uneasy feeling grew with every step I took.

Suddenly, I found myself in front of a narrow path, it went deep into the forest and  I knew I couldn’t turn away; otherwise I wouldn't get home.

Why was I so sure that I'd never get home? Maybe because my house wasn't in the direction I was heading, but in the depths of this dense forest.

I dont remember walking along the path. It felt like some glitch in my memory, next I remember dry, tall grass scratching my face. It became cold, an unbearable silence rang inside my ears and the the skies split in half in front of me. There was that same castle. It towered over me like Tintagel in front of the cold, cruel sea. And then, suddenly everything became clear and meaningful. I ceased to be a man, I became a part of this dark and different world.

I took off her body as a foreign dress. It was cleansing; nothing binds me anymore, now I'm just an electrical discharge - so spontaneous and fast. Here, I shall find what I lacked in the open, sunny path. The growing storm is my element, it carries me with lightning speed, and I'm almost there. But still very far.

The castle became the calmness amid the chaos, like the center gravity of the entire universe. All I could do was look at it from afar.

I noticed the maroon curtains twitched slightly, hiding the last dim light. Darkness and emptiness flooded all around me; burning anger overcame me from the inside.

This cannot be! It's me, let me in!

I chose to inflict the most powerful blow. Gaining speed, this is my last chance and it better work! Here I am, an arrow that cuts through the air. With all the strength of hope and despair, I fly to him. A sudden flash of light, a sharp pain behind my eyes, I wake up.

You know perfectly well what this means, right?» - The note wavered slightly in his nervous fingers. He got up from the old chair and walked to the window. It seemed that a storm was gathering.

"Maybe change the curtains, the burgundy looks gloomy." - He thought, and tossed a crumpled, empty piece of paper into the fireplace.

PICTURES: ERIC WIGANDT